I Hate Your Mom!
by Veshira
Summary: A/U Vejita and Kakarrotto are young, handsome. . . and are two of the neighbourhood perverts. They think that love doesn't matter (unless sex is all that's involved) but what happens when Kakarrotto's mother makes an odd wish on a star? Straight/Yaoi V/K(
1. Dying Memories

Prologue  
  
It was dark, raining and cold. Lights shined through the windows in the back and through the front seat windows. The little boy in back was sitting in the center seat, barely able to keep awake. His mother turned around to smile at him. The boy's eyes closed and he fell asleep.  
  
The next thing he knew was that he heard a crashing sound right in front of him, and he heard a car horn and beeping, and the sound of glass braking. He opened his eyes to see a horrible sight. His mother and father were knocked out and a car's front wheels were through the glass of the wind- shield. Shards of glass were covering their bodies and the car horn was activated by his father's weight on the steering wheel. Screaming, the boy unbuckled himself from the seat and stood up in the car and tried to shake his parents awake. The car was hit in the left side and the boy went flying to the floor. He hit his head and was instantly knocked out.  
  
The next morning, a little boy with a tail was watching Saturday morning cartoons upside-down. Hamutaro was on TV Tokyo and the boy was singing to the ending theme song.  
  
"Yaa yaa yaa yaa yaa, mou ieru! Pachigaerainde ne! Yaa yaa yaa yaa yaa, Let's try again! Minna de mou ichido!" His father walked in the room and scowled when he saw what his son was watching.  
  
"Kakorrotto, I can't believe you watch this garbage." His son looked up at him and grinned. The song ended and the boy got up and ran around his father and up the stairs to his room. The door slammed shut. Then opened again and shut harder. Then opened again. "Kakarrotto!" Upstairs, Kakarrotto giggled and shut the door quietly. The father shook his head and walked over to the couch and sat down. He took the remote and changed the channel to ZTV. His wife walked downstairs and walked into the kitchen in her bathrobe. Her long black hair was a mess. He grinned. "Where have you been?" She walked back to look at him with big onyx eyes.  
  
"Where did you think I was?" She walked back into the kitchen to make breakfast for her family. Bardock looked down and smiled then looked at the television to see the news.  
  
". . . and on a more local matter, last night, at approximately 1:35 am, there was serious car-crash on the intersection of Kakera-ii and Shinu- chou. Four vehicles collided with one another and. . ." The news announcer continued talking about the accident as the screen showed a sky view of the crash. There were four cars all mashed up into each other, one was blue, another red, a black one, and a yellow one.  
  
"Hmm," Bardock thought to himself, "young, drunk kids, right?" He sipped his and continued watching. The screen went back to the announcer.  
  
"Five men, one woman, and a child were in the wreck. Two of the men, who were in the same vehicle, were drunk and driving. Another man was driving with the woman and child, and they are in critical condition and are receiving the best of care at the Genki-byouin (Genki Hospital)."  
  
"Poor kid," he thought. He took another sip of his tea and set the mug on the table in front of him. He really didn't care about people getting killed and all, it happens everyday, but children getting hurt were different. He sighed and folded his hands. The announcer continued talking on and on about the crash. Then he began telling the license plate numbers. "Leave these poor people alone," he thought. Then he saw the license plates on the television screen. His eyes opened wide. "Vejita?!" He stood up and yelled to his wife.  
  
"Sakura! Get in here, now!" She walked into the room with a cup of tea in her hands, which she was blowing on. "Sakura, isn't that. . ?" Sakura turned to the television and read it over. She stopped blowing and stared at the license plate.  
  
". . . That's. That's Kabocha and Vejita's license number!"  
  
"Damn." He ran to the door and got on his shoes.  
  
"Where are you going?" she asked. Bardock glanced at her.  
  
"The Genki-byouin," he said. He was more than worried about his friends, but also about his son. His son. . . "Kakarrotto! Get dressed, now! We're going to the hospital!"  
  
"Hai, 'Tousan!" Five minutes later the small saiyajin ran down the stairs and to the door. He put his shoes on and he and his father took off. It only took about ten minutes to get to the Genki-byouin, but it seemed longer to Bardock than that. However, Kakarrotto just listened to the radio, completely carefree. When they got there, Bardock took Kakarrotto by the hand and practically dragged him all the way to the hospital desk. There was a girl sitting there filing papers. She looked up at Bardock.  
  
"Yes, how may I help you?"  
  
"There were a couple of people brought in from the accident last night, right?" She nodded her head. "Can you tell me what room they're in?" She pointed down a hallway to her right.  
  
"Go that way and to the right. It's room 132."  
  
"Arigatou!" He drug his son along behind him as he almost ran down the hall.  
  
Next to the room #132 sat a little boy in a chair. His head was in bandages and he had a few cuts here and there. He was pinching and yanking his tail in his hands, trying to hurt himself, and was whimpering silently. Inside the room, he heard loud voices and beeping. It scared him. He heard foot- steps running down the hall, but he didn't look up.  
  
"Vejita!" Then the boy looked up and saw his best friend and his father running down the hall to him. He sniffed and wiped tears off his face and then stood up.  
  
"Kakarrotto? Bardock-san?" He looked up at the father and then at the son. He was still twisting his tail in his hands.  
  
"What's wrong, Vejita?" Kakarrotto asked, not knowing of the crash. Bardock looked at his son and sighed.  
  
"He's had a rough night, Kako. . ." He knelt in front of the young Vejita and ran his hand threw the boy's hair. "His parents were hurt badly and are being taken care of. It's an emergency." Kakarrotto's eyes widened.  
  
"An emergency?!" he was shocked. "What happened?!"  
  
"Now is not the time, Kakarrotto," his father told him. Kakarrotto watched his friend's face sadden even worse and this mad him sad.  
  
"Vejita," he said as he leaned over and hugged his friend. Vejita excepted the hug and began to cry again. Suddenly everything in the other room went silent, except for a long beep. Then more yelling was heard and there was another long beep.  
  
A few days later, Vejita and Kakarrotto stood near two graves. Vejita was in a little black tuxedo and Kakarrotto was too. He held Vejita's shoulders as he looked down at his parents' graves. Vejita was whimpering, tears were falling down his cheeks. He threw his head back and screamed, "Okaasan! Otousan! Don't go!" He fell to his knees as more tears fell from his eyes. Kakarrotto looked down at his friend. "He must be so sad," he thought. He bent down and hugged Vejita from behind. Vejita buried his face in his hands. Kakarrotto sighed and said softly, "Gomen nasai, Vejita." 


	2. Partners in Crime

I Hate Your Mom!  
  
Chapter One ~ Partners in Crime  
  
Cold water splashed onto his body. Vejita shot up in less than a second from his sleep. "What the hell?!" He suddenly heard the laughter of his best friend right next to him on the side of the bed. "Kakarrotto!" Kakarrotto was standing and holding an empty bucket in one hand and holding his gut with the other.  
  
"But Vejita, you were so dirty, I thought I'd give you a bath!" and with that Vejita screamed, announcing that his nit-wit friend had three seconds to run and make it out the door of the house before he would do something. Kakarrotto, having that something quite similar to this had happened before, took note of this, head-tails and ran out of the room, dropping the bucket in the hallway. He ran into the kitchen and leaped for the doorknob, when his body was slammed into the floor.  
  
"Three," he heard and he didn't need to look up, but did anyway. Vejita was stomping him into the ground, well, floor with one foot, and his hands on his hips and a big evil grin on his face, not seeming to mind that his white t-shirt was sticking to his body from the ice water that Kakarrotto had hit him with, literally, a few seconds ago.  
  
"Heh, heh. Hey Vejita. Get off my back, please?" Vejita just kept grinning and put more pressure on his back. "Ack! Vejita!" Then he noticed something and grinned. "Say, Vejita, your white underwear's all wet now." Vejita gasped and looked down. His underwear was completely transparent. Vejita gritted his teeth, but it turned back into a more evil looking grin and he began to jump on his back. Kakarrotto started cracking up at this point, being that none of the jumping was hurting him, but he supposed that Vejita was just letting out steam in his own goofy way. Vejita's grin disappeared and turned into a mocking little smirk, then finally he let off on Kakarrotto's back. Kakarrotto sighed in relief and he got to his hands and knees, and was about to stand up when he saw in the corner of his eye, Vejita, getting ready to kick him in the gut. He yelled and jumped up as Vejita swung a kick in his direction, but lost his balance and fell on his ass. Kakarrotto fell down too, right next to Vejita. Both of them stared at one another before braking out into enormous laughter.  
  
An hour later, the pair were walking out the door, wearing dark colored t- shirts and blue jeans, trying to look cool as can be, as if they already weren't. Well, since the guys had finished high school they had rented an apartment building area. Their landlord, thankfully, was an old man who lived with his wife and they didn't give a damn about how messy the place was, as long as it wouldn't be a mess when they moved out. The guys had been living there for about four years, and it was already the first of June. They had been let out of their fourth year of college on May 30, which was two days before, but they were forced by their, rather, Kakarrotto's parents to stay for a party at their place with all of their little "friends", as Sakura called them. So, one day after the so called "party", the two neighborhood perverts were looking for some kicks. First off, Bulma's pad. The two goons walked down the sideway which went all over the lawn of the apartment buildings, which were three, including Otei Renatsu's building, their landlord, who they called jiji Otei-san, or simply just Jiotei-san. He and his wife, Otei Enla, were outside planting flowers. Well, Enla was planting the flowers, Jiotei-san was standing and watching her. Then he saw Vejita and Kakarrotto.  
  
"Hey boys," he said to them kindly, weak and boring, but still kindly, "nice weather today, eh?"  
  
"Yep, sure is, Jiotei-san," Vejita said as Kakarrotto grinned, then got behind Vejita and grabbed him around the waist. Vejita glared at him out of the corner of his eye.  
  
"We're going girl hunting!" Kakarrotto had the biggest grin on his face.  
  
"Well, that's nice," Jiotei-san thought out loud. Then he sort of tip-toed over to them and whispered behind his hand, "Don't get a girl at likes flowers." The two saiyajin snickered.  
  
"Renatsu? What is it you're telling those poor young men? Don't you know that young folk don't listen to the elder folk now and days?" Jiotei-san rolled his eyes.  
  
"Yes, forgive me, dear. I had no idea what I was thinking. You're right." Enla turned around to look at him in question.  
  
"Gomen ne, Renatsu, I couldn't understand what you said." Jiotei-san nodded.  
  
"That's what I thought," and with that he turned on his heel and walked back over to his wife. "Ja, otoko!"  
  
"Ja!" And the two guys walked over to Bulma's house to see what she was up to. She was outside taking down laundry off the clothes line and was putting it in a laundry basket. She didn't notice, however, the two young men at the side of the house, watching her.  
  
"You see her? What's with her?! She's bending down, waiting for some guy to just go over there and slap her ass!" Vejita commented.  
  
Kako grinned and whispered, "Why don't you go help her out, there, Vejita?" Vejita turned and gave him a look. Kako began to crack up. "Oh, come on, Vejita! You and I, and the rest of the world, know that you've liked Bulma since our first year of high-school!" Vejita glared at him.  
  
"Yeah. Sure, Kako. I just love the little bitch!" He turned back to Bulma, who was just about finished with the laundry. Vejita kept silent for a second, then sighed and said, "Okay, Kako, I'll try. "Again." But she's a total bitch, I swear!" He got up and walked over to Bulma. She didn't see him behind her, so he stopped short, and waited, then turned around to walk away, when he bumped right into Kako.  
  
"Go for it," he whispered. "Vejita gritted his teeth, but turned right around and pulled the bottom of Bulma's little pink shirt up to her neck. She screamed, then wurled around to face a grinning Vejita.  
  
"Hey, Babe, what's up?" Bulma growled then swung a fist in Vejita direction, which he blocked easily with his hand. "Hey, what are you trying to do, hurt me?" She stared at him for a moment, then closed her eyes and calmed down. A small smile appeared on her lips. Vejita smiled too. "Well, you want to go out with me, then?" Bulma stood perfectly still, and her smile didn't change.  
  
"Sure, I'll go out with you."  
  
"Huh?" Vejita blinked. "What. . .did you say?" Kako thought he would break out into hysterical laughter from the look on Vejita's face.  
  
"Alright! Vejita finally did something right!" Kako thought to himself, wearing a small grin of his own. But then, Bulma turned her back to Vejita and bent over, her butt right in Vejita's face, causing him to have to step back. Then, she stood up, and turned around, holding the laundry basket in her arms.  
  
"Here, take this," she said, shoving the basket into Vejita's gut, and he took it and stared at her unbelievingly. "The first thing we do," she said with a smile, as if she thought this was a normal activity for a date, "is we fold the clothes and lay them on the bed. Follow me, please." She began to walk to the house, but Vejita just stood there, with fire in his eyes.  
  
"Damn her," he thought. "I really thought I had a chance this time, but no!" He began to grumble to himself. Bulma turned a looked at him with a stern look.  
  
"Well?!" Vejita didn't say anything. "That's what I thought! Now, follow me!" She started walking back to the apartment building again, without even telling Vejita not to dump the basket of clothes over her head. She found out that if you didn't give a saiyajin any ideas, they wouldn't come up with any. But, for once in his life, Vejita came up with one. Bulma didn't look behind her to see what Vejita was doing, but she heard his footsteps. She smiled. She was actually getting him to be useful for once. Bulma was about to open to door to the house when she felt to hands grab her breasts. She gasped and blushed, and she heard Vejita snickering behind her. He squeeze a little harder and Bulma started screaming. In a flash, she whirled around and slapped Vejita right across the face. Kako, who was standing a few steps behind them, burst out into uncontrollable laughter and fell over holding his gut.  
  
"What's wrong? You were asking for that, weren't you?" Vejita said as he rubbed his face with a huge grin. Bulma wildly stomped the ground and screamed.  
  
"You're sick, Vejita! You really are!" And with that, she entered the apartment and slammed the door, completely forgetting about her basket of laundry.  
  
"To Hell with you, then," Vejita said to himself and he waved a hand bye, turned, grinning at Kako. Kako began to get up, still laughing a little bit.  
  
"Vejita, you pervert, you," he said, before nearly falling down again. "And why'd you have to do that infront of me? Now I'm scared for life! You know, my mind isn't filled with porn and girls like yours, Vejita!" Vejita snickered at that comment.  
  
"Speaking of porn and girls, want to go visit Tanhei and Chei now?" Kako thought a moment then nodded.  
  
"I guess there's nothing else to do, sure why not." He grinned. "Maybe they've got something new, a new YuriGirlX doujin maybe?!"  
  
"Lets' go!" Vejita screamed in excitement and with that, both raced down the road leading to the main part of town, which by the way was called Sho- Nen-tokoro.  
  
|  
  
|  
  
|  
  
Next Chapter: Shitagi no Shoujo Mise (Girls' Underwear Store) 


End file.
